The After Life

I'm not gonna lie - it's weird being married but not married. It's kind of a weird in-between and an odd way to start out a marriage. I feel like we can't fully be husband and wife and it's kind of a straing. We live together (finally!) and wear our rings from time to time (if we're not going to be around people we know) and we call each other husband and wife but we're not really to the whole world. Plus, we can't focus on us and our marriage right now - we're planning a wedding! There have been plenty of moments in the last few months that I've caught myself out of my mind and thinking "this is not the way to be a wife" and I tell myself "I can be a real wife after May 29th." It's awful - but sometimes true. The stress, time-constraints, etc and etc that go along with planning a wedding isn't a very fun way to start a marriage when you wish you could be all "honeymooning" and everything. Ah, well - this is our life!

A few of my girlfriends at work and a couple of my bridesmaids know about our marriage - but not very many people. A coordinator at the church accidently included us in the newsletter with other couples who were married that month - so know the whole church knows...but that's not a big deal because they dont know my guests. Plus, our friends at church understand our reasonings better than many other friends would.

Nick and I joke every once in awhile about "yeah, you only get married twice" and those types - we try to laugh about how we did things differently because at times, it's draining. It's hard to validate yourself all the time and explain the situation to those who need to find out. But we're glad we did it - it's made our life a lot easier right now and it was pretty romantic, I must say. :)