to friendor or not?

The boy and I took a weekend trip to Madison this past weekend to visit his sister and while in route we found ourselves in, what else, wedding discussions. The topic this time? Music.

You see, DB and I are of the musical nature. We met in a music group, we have lots of musical friends, we routinely listen to music in the car that "normal" people would cringe at (and do!). So naturally, music is an important part of a big event as a wedding might be for us.

It all began with talking about the wedding party. You see - he has one sister and one brother and I have two brothers. Naturally, he wants his brother to be a groomsman and his sister to be one of my bridesmaids. No problem. Except what about my two brothers? If all is fair in love and war - my brothers would be both be groomsmen as well. But that doesn't leave very many spots left for DB to have friends in the line-up. So then I thought of the option of my brothers doing the ceremony music (not sure how considering one is an ex-trumpeter gone drummer and the other is a trumpeter). But DB countered with - "Um...have you not thought about the many, many friends we have that are excellent musicians that we could book for close to free?" and I'm all - "oh yeah."

the question at hand is this, my lovelies...do you use friendors or risk offending friends who have the same talent by hiring a "professional"?

We have numerous friends who have groups who could play at the ceremony, cocktail hour (will there even be such a think?), dinner and reception. But - would they rather enjoy the wedding instead of playing? Or would it be a smart move financially to hire a friendor instead of a vendor?

None the less - our wedding/reception will be a rockin' one...you betcha!

so a few weeks ago DB's grandpa (who has been in a nursing home for a few years and had diabeties, was 82, etc) was sent to the ICU because things had spiraled out of control - kidneys failing, all that good stuff. DB called me at my part time, evening job (which he never does) and told me through his tears. I left work immediately and he came and picked me up. When I asked him where he was he hesitated and said "on hwy 169..." sheepishly. I asked why and he said "don't worry about it." then i figured out that up 169 is where the jewelry store that we picked out that ring is! AH! we spent the day at the hospital and that night DB told me he was in the parking lot when his mom called him. MAN! We spent the next day with his Grandpa and family and then his status improved so we went home.

A couple nights later, DB was being super cute and antsy and he wouldn't tell me why. But he pressured me to ask questions (fine...twist my arm!) and I found out that he had gone and picked out the diamond and put money down on the ring as a whole. and he was BURSTING at his seams with pride and excitement. it was SO cute. I cried, of course.

His Grandpa continued to get better and then two weeks later (last Friday) they sent him back to the nursing home because he was going downhill again and he didn't need the hospital so he went back to where he was comfortable. We went to see him this past Sunday night and he was even responding to us (come to find out we were the last ones he talked to) and he passed away Tuesday morning.

DB is BESIDE HIMSELF. I never thought he'd be this torn up. I feel SO horrible - and hate seeing him in so much pain and hurting so much. We'll spend the weekend with his (big) family and be at the funeral events Sunday and Monday. He went to the funeral home Tuesday while I was at work and apparently everyone was asking him about when we were getting married (he's hardly ever with his family without me).

This has also brought up to me the issue of honoring passed grandparents at the wedding. I had never really thought of it because this was his first grandparent to pass and I don't have any still alive (none of which I really knew or were close with). But now that I know how close he was to his Grandpa, we'll surely figure something out.

Real Wedding

One of my old college roomates got married this past weekend. While I wasn't there, I do know how to grab photos from our other roomate, Maggie's, facebook album. :) Maggie and I have lots of fond and hilariou memories of living with Olga sophomore year. Maggie and I already knew each other and Olga was a transfer student who got placed with us - little did we know how lucky we were! We spent the school year learning bits of Russian, in awe of her beauty, going to Russian church and events with her, making fun of her for American things she didn't know and so much more. After college she moved back to Boston and now has married a good Russian man. Maggie said it was quite an event with all the Russians there and the reception was even a bit different because of their culture. Congrats Olga and Ilya!

Pre-Planning = a good thing (today)

I recently have been realizing how great of a thing it is for me to be doing all of the “pre-planning” that I’ve been doing before getting engaged. All though some days I feel like I'm driving myself crazy and I just need to be more patient...I think it's a good thing!

First, let me define what I’ve been doing…

• Reading blogs like crazy. (and starring the ones I will want to refer to in the future. Oh, how I love my Google reader).
• saving pictures that I come across. (electronically. And then putting them into a photobucket folder and tagging them correctly for categories.)
• making lists of things I want to remember/consider/love
• making a general budget and adjusting (up and down) as I read/see new things
• doing a general “mind dump” and seeing as much as I can see.

I have not been…

• making a list of things I hate (which I recently read is a good idea for working with vendors)
• reading/tearing up/etc magazines (but I wish I had been because I’d like a PHYSICAL book of my desires instead of all electronic. Hmm.)
• calling for quotes
• making actual plans that I have fallen in love with. Yes, there have been ideas that I love, love, love and hope that DB says he loves too and that they become possible. But I have not been saying “I’ve decided on X venue.”
  

Secondly, let me backup and explain the anal way my mind works. I’m one of those people that needs to see ALL of my options before I make a decision about something. This horrible need has become more and more cumbersome as I’ve become an adult. I’m the type that if I need a white v-neck sweater…I go and look at ALL the local stores to see what they have and then make an educated decision. Because otherwise, I know that if I buy the first one that I like, I’ll see another one later and regret buying the first one. The first time I realized that I had a problem with this was when I had to buy a new car. WHAT – I have to pick ONE car out of the thousands of models there are out there?! And let me tell you – it’s REALLY hard to make a spreadsheet of makes/models/prices/amenities involved in cars. It was horrifying. Mind you – I ended up with a great car that I love, but it’s just scary for me when I haven’t seen them all!

Another thing about my crazy head is that it is very linear. I’m a right-brained person who is musical and creative and likes to come up with new ideas, however – I’m also very linear in my thinking. When I look at things I love outlined type flow. For instance…when I’m on a website that I’m interested in – I look at the first link, and then any links off of that page – go back to the original page, look at the second and the following links there, back again, etc. When I find a new blog I like – I have to assess all the old entries that might interest me, and then look at all of their friends list to see if there’s anyone I like on their blog. THIS DRIVES ME INSANE. But I feel like I might be missing out on something completely wonderful if I don’t do it!

I know I sound like a nut job, so I’ll wrap this up. My point is…I’m glad I started doing everything I’ve been doing before even getting engaged because I’m slowing coming to the point where I’m like “I think I’d be fine with my blogroll the way it is without searching out/adding any more. I think I’ve seen enough examples of pomanders to decide on how I’d like them to look if I do them, etc.” DB and I are not expecting to be engaged for very long – around 6-8 months so if I hadn’t started any of this until then, I could very well have ended up in a nut house! I’m glad that I’ve been doing what I’ve been doing in order to have my head a bit more on straight when I do actually have to start making decisions.

Whew!

update schmupdate

oh hai guys. :)

here's a general summary of what's been going on....

• So a few days ago I had another hysterical moment where I got upset about how we're not engaged yet. I pointed out all the things he should've never said (about getting engaged in April, or how it'd only be a few months from when we first looked at rings in Feb, or how a short dating period and engagement would be fine since both our brothers and SILs did that, etc, etc, etc) and I cried. Basically, the dilemna was that the guy where we found the awesome ring for the awesome price would never return DB's emails or phone calls. And it's quite a drive to just go there and happen to see him or not. So that was dissappointing. Also, DB will be paying for the ring straight from the ole checking account and it was taking some time to build up the amount of the ring that I LOVED b/c I picked a pricey one (what a surprise, eh). That made me feel bad and we hashed it out and then the next day he offered to take me to look at rings again. WELL - I fell in love with a new one that was like $500 cheaper than the orig. nice. So that's that. Now who knows when it'll happen!
• I'm so nervous. I just can't tell if it's going to be sooner or later. I'm always reading too much in to everything, wonder if it's the time or not. oye!
• my job is driving me crazy.
• We went to my home in Iowa for Easter, I have a birthmother's banquet to go to Friday and Mother's day (a hard one for me) is Sunday. He'll be out of town for business the first week of June, his 10 year h.s. reunion is at the beginning of June.
• My brother and SIL are pregnant with their third!!
• I've been doing Jillian's 30 Day Shred for the last week - not consistently every day though. ah, well - got to be better than nothing!
• I've been thinking about an engagement gift for him. What have you guys done if you have? When did you give it? Should I just have it on hand so that the day after he proposes I can present him with it? I'm really thinking a nice watch because he talks about getting a new, NICE watch all the time. Thoughts?

mmmk - back to work. :)

Morning, Lovelies.

I'm sorry for being such a random blogger. I've been trying so had lately to not obsess about weddings and the lack of a ring on my finger in order to not pressure DB, drive myself crazy, etc. I have made peace with the fact that it very well could not happen for another 3 months, so I'm trying to dial it back a bit. I still read like crazy (duh) but ya know. Whenever I bring it up and try to get a timeline out of him, it seems like it keeps getting pushed back. It's upsetting because we started talking about getting married and short dating/engagements back in September!! Anyway. that's my story.

AND THEN something happened that helped my cause! No, no...not a proposal! BUT! We were over in St Paul on Saturday (it seems like you have to make a day trip to go over there, ha. But I'm Minneapolis girl!) to get lunch at his favorite pizza joint and I suggested walking around Grand Ave to look at the cute shops and enjoy the sunshine. He thought it sounded great and we strolled along. I had in mind a certain jewelry shop that I had been to YEARS ago with some girlfriends from college for fun that I was going to "casually" walk by. He obliged and we took a gander. It was super small and not very fun and I didn't see one single ring that I liked. Oh well, I still got to look at some pretty-pretties. :)

We got back in the car soon after and I said we should drive a little more down the street and see if we just happen to see any more jewelry shops because I had just gotten a taste of diamonds again and wanted to see more. I promised that it was just for fun and we knew we both were already set on the previous jeweler that we found an amazing ring at. Well - we did find another jewelry store tucked away on Grand Ave. DB mentioned that he felt like he had heard of them before - but wasn't sure. It was a random little family owned shop that doesn't advertise, etc. A little gem if you ask me! The shop had lots to look at and was a very comfortable place with a very friendly "salesman." The "salesman" was the owner of the shop and actually DESIGNS most of the rings there! I tried a bunch on and was so impressed with how amazing they all were. And then....I FELL IN LOVE. with a one-of-a-kind halo setting. He mentioned that it was one of his designs and we quickly noticed that it was about $400 cheaper than the setting I had loved from the previous place. Not bad. Then, he started talking about diamonds and his prices for a better quality diamond was cheaper than the lesser-quality ones we had looked at at the other place! what?! amazing!

The owner gave us a card and sketched out a picture of the ring and wrote two prices down for two different sized diamonds that we were talking about and we left the shop pleased as pie! With this new place, we've shaved about $750 off of the price! Yay! And without sacrificing quality! In fact, this guy totally told us that he runs his business to please the customer and he's the type of guy who would go the extra mile to make it all perfect. So obviously it totally excites me to think that things can move along just a bit more sooner than they could before. DB was so thrilled too and he had a googly look on his face the rest of the day.

Oh yeah, I dreamt about the ring and a proposal that night, too. :)

Williams Sonoma is has some great sales going on. Including the following...


Vellum tags for $5.99. Would be great for OOT bags, favors, lots of things!

(found here)

Monogrammed ice bucket for $44.99 - just too cute!

(found here)

Valentine fondant & cutter kit for $9.99. Use it for your DIY cupcakes!

(found here)

Adorable apothecary jar for $11.99. Duh, candy buffet!

(found here)