Abigail

So I haven't told you guys the full story on my daughter, Abigail.

When I was 23 and in still college, I found out I was pregnant. Knowing that I didn't have any part of my life under control at the time and after lots of researching and soul searching, I decided on an open adoption plan for my daughter. The biological father of the baby wanted nothing to do with the baby or myself, so I spent my entire pregnancy alone (I lived alone, 14 hours away from my parents), going to college and working 2 part time jobs. When I was about 8 months pregnant, I moved back to my parents house and finished college at the school my dad teaches at in town. The baby was born in February 2007 and she now lives with her adoptive family in Ohio.

This experience was something that completely changed my world and made me the person I am today. There's no way to describe it other than learning how strong you really are. The whole overriding theme of my pregnancy/adoption story is that I chose to gave life to my baby and valued her life more than mine in order to give her to a family that could take good care of her. I didn't give her up - I gave her more. I would've loved to be her mother - and I can't wait to be a mother some day - but I did what any good mother does...gave the best life I could to my child. It just didn't happen to be with me.

The real beauty here is open adoption. Adoption has changed drastically over the last decade and open adoption is a wonderful way to work with an unplanned pregnancy. I chose Abigail's adoptive parents when I was a mere 20 weeks pregnant after looking at many profiles and interviewing 3 sets of parents. They were the ones that I was most comfortable with and who I felt the best connection with. I spent a lot of time with them during my pregnancy - getting to know them and sharing my life with them. After the baby was born, I receive almost monthly updates. Lots of pictures, video, emails and phone calls. I was able to see her a few times during her first weeks of life and then I attended her baptism and have seen her one other time since then.

I definitely still have bad days where I cry about everything and am very saddened by my loss. But not near as many as I used to have - my life has moved on and I'm so grateful to still be involved the way I am. Abigail has pictures of me in her home, she knows my name and we exchange gifts and cards often throughout the year. I'm so blessed to have found such wonderful parents for her and am so happy that I get to know as much as I do about her.

When Nick and I got engaged we pretty quickly knew that we wanted to ask Abigail's parents if she could be the flower girl. We thought it would be a very special way to include her and be able to have her at the wedding. We're VERY excited about it - as are my guests! Only one of my girlfriends saw her in the hospital with me, and my family has all spent time with her - but none of my other friends or relatives have been around her. She talked to me on the phone and said she's excited to be the flower girl and wants to wear a pretty dress and a bow in her hair! Be still my heart! :)

Nick and I are going out to visit them in March in order to spend some good time with them before the wedding.

So that's the story of my very special flower girl!
If you're interested in reading more about my adoption story - I blogged throughout the whole thing at www.livejournal.com/maryiodithsbaby (it's protected - so just ask for me to add you!).