Upsetting the Apple Cart

So - remember how we're getting married before the wedding? Well, I'm feeling really defeated over it.

We finally got final confirmation from the church and pastor on Monday and we're getting married IN TWO DAYS!! Saturday at 11am I will legally be a Mrs.!

I had already discussed this with my parents a few weeks ago - my mom had brought it up so we discussed it while Nick and I were still weighing the pros and cons. But Nick hadn't told his family yet - so once we got final confirmation, he told his parents. They were 100% supportive and understanding and loving and we were so relieved because we were a bit concerned that they might react harshly. WHEW!

But then all hell broke loose.

Nick's mother chose to go ahead and tell Nick's older sister that very night. We were planning on telling them - just on our own terms and straight from the source. She freaked out and immediately disowned him as a brother and said she would not be a bridesmaid in the May wedding any longer. She has yet to answer a call from Nick or I or respond to anything we've done to reach out to her. Apparently (through what his mother has said that his sister has said), she feels really hurt that she's not special enough to be there at the actual wedding and thinks that the wedding in May is just fake.

Awesome. clearly we're getting our point across here. /sarcasm.

So then Nick calls his brother (who found out from his sister) in order to make sure he's on board and not gone off the deep end like his sister. No such luck. He says that he "understands" and "supports our marriage" but doesn't agree with having two weddings and is upset that he can't be there on the most important day in Nick's life.

Double awesome.

Luckily, his parents aren't being swayed and they still completely understand and 100% back us up and support us. However, apparently they can't reign in their adult children and help them GET IT.

It's UNBELIEVABLE to me that these two people over the age of 30 can't think outside the box a little and show some compassion and understanding and comprehend why we've made this adult decision which is the best decision for us. We never intended to offend anyone - in fact quite the opposite - we decided to tell them instead of running off and we want to keep the May wedding in order to still have a big special day that we can involve everyone in and have a public committment ceremony and celebration. We aren't doing this to spite them - we're doing it because it's the right thing for us right now. CALL ME CRAZY IF YOU WANT!

I just feel like they're both being completely selfish in the fact that poor them - they don't get to be there this Saturday! We decided to just have our parents there so that it would be just that - an intimate thing so we don't have to invite EVERYone. And that's why we chose to still have the May wedding - so that everyone still CAN be involved and still have the big, traditional, public thing!

What a way to be welcomed in to this family - I'd be embarassed of my family if it was mine acting like this.

Nonetheless - we have made our decision and we aren't conceeding to their wishes just to appease them. We're getting married tomorrow and we'll have our big day in May. They can be there if they want and they can be a part of our lives moving forward if they want. These are the decisions that they will have to live with.

I'm just shocked.