where have all the good girls gone?

Am I the only one that feels like I don't have any girlfriends anymore?

I've always been jealous of those girls that have a tight-knit group of best girlfriends. You know - Sex and the City style. The girls that you've always known would be your bridesmaids, the girls that you've had too many sleepovers with to count, the girls that know everything. I definitely don't have that - in fact, my best friends don't even know each other. I attribute it to the fact that I've moved around so much and I have so many different groups/types of friends. And it really irritates me. And even moreso, I've lost touch with SO many that I would love to still be on great terms with. Sure, I can make effort to reach out (and I have!) - but it isn't always returned...and that's not fun at all!

I fear that when I get engaged...I won't have anyone to call and squeel with over it. I fear that no one will be excited about my wedding, no one will want to help and no one will want to come.

Isn't that horrible?? I think so.

I have a few childhood friends who I still keep in touch with - mainly via facebook though...does that count? Then there are high school friends - only a few are still good friends. College friends from MN (but I was only there 2.5 years!), college friends from OH (I was only there 2 years!) and then the amount of friends I lost during my pregnancy/adoption situation. It's hard to describe how many friends didn't care or how I had no energy or strength to put into friendships at that time. Then there are new friends since graduating and starting my adult life. And drum corps friends. OYE!!

Then I met DB and now, I hardly spend any time on the phone or in person with girlfriends. My life's consumed with him - which I love. But...there's this empty spot where girlfriends used to stand!

When I think about bridesmaids...I'm afraid that none of them will get along, because they're all from different parts of my life. I better get working on telling DB that I'm going out and getting ahold of my girls. There's some serious time to make up for!